Advent

(Soundtrack: "All My Praise" - Selah)
When I was little, my favorite part of the holidays at our church was the Advent wreath lighting. I really didn't understand the whole significance of it, I just remember that every year they would ask the children to read a passage each week as part of the weekly candle lighting. I participated 2 years, and I remember practicing on our family advent wreath at home before the Sundays I was to read.

Since I've been married, Christian and I have been on the 'hunt' for an Advent wreath for our family table. We've had a difficult time finding one, but especially since we're still looking for our permanent church home and I'm really missing that part of the Christmas tradition, I'm renewing my hunt this weekend. I think it's really important for Brenn to grow up with the Christian traditions of Christmas along with all of the 'commercial' and family-type traditions that we currently have.

But, please don't let me make you think that I now have an in-depth understanding of the Advent season, the symbolism of each of the Chrismons and colors of the candles. I really don't remember. So, I was reading up the other day about the Advent season (thanks for the nudge, dear Amber!) and I read about how Advent really was a season of excited anticipation, patient waiting and hope for a renewed spirit and life - all in preparation for Christ's arrival. That really struck me, especially because, truthfully, until about 4 1/2 years ago, I had lived most of my life in excited anticipation, patient waiting and with a sense of hope (in the midst of turmoil) for the promise of better things to come.

I was introduced to my favorite bible verse in high school - Jeremiah 29:11(NIV) - "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'" This verse has been close to my heart ever since then. It is my greatest comfort and reminds me that through it all, God doesn't make mistakes. And now that I dive more into Advent, it now seems to come together - why I've always felt especially close to God during Advent, and why this verse has stayed with me for so long. I believe and hold onto the promise of God's love for me, in the midst of anything.

I have someone who is very dear to me who is having surgery today - a surgery that I have had myself. My heart breaks for her and her husband because of everything that they are going through today. While the physical aspect of it is relatively simplistic today, it is the emotional aspect that is the most difficult. But my heart breaks even more because I know that today is really the easiest part of the emotional rollercoaster that they are getting ready to face in the days and weeks ahead.

Truthfully, I myself am trying to wrap my head around why they are having to go through this, and why God would have them endure this - why two wonderful, loving people would have such difficulties. Quite frankly, in my chats (ok, I admit, and rants) with God in the past few days since I found out about the surgery, I haven't been very nice in arguments to Him about why He should have chosen someone else to carry that burden. And, oh my...each time, He has gently led me back (like I do with my 18 mo. old after a tantrum) to the Advent wreath and to Jeremiah.

Hope...plans...patient and joyful anticipation of a beautiful future in the midst of darkness. We hold onto those things - and mainly we hold onto Hope - in the midst of it all, believing that in the end, God truly does have a plan for us: a plan for a life that is beautiful and full of love and hope and A Future. I believe that, and I hold onto that. I really do.

Lots of love,
Kristen