Blog List & Renewed Faith

Some of you may be wondering about the Blog Watch list, and how and why I have these blogs listed.

Well, K&Company is an easy one - it's my best friend's blog about her family life. Despite the fact that we work down the hall from one another, phone each other almost daily on the way to work (even though we'll see each other in the next 10 mins), and usually lunch together almost every day, I like to keep in touch with what's going on with her and her family. ; )

The other two may seem a little more complicated. So let me start from the beginning.

When I miscarried in April, I was truly unprepared for the level of devastation it brought, and my inability to quickly move past what had happened. It's a crazy little thing about that little second blue line and biology. The moment that second line appeared on that test, I was carrying a baby - our second child - regardless of what google told me about it being just a lump of rapidly dividing cells. Anyway, I digress.

I went into myself with grief and confusion. Poor Christian, my family and friends. They didn't know quite what to make of me. Truth is, I didn't know what to make of me, myself. I couldn't understand why it was so difficult - I mean, 1 in 4 women who become pregnant will miscarry. Some studies even cite that the liklihood of miscarriage in the first 8 weeks is actually upwards of 50%. Why couldn't I deal?? So, I went back to the online board that I had frequented when I was pregnant with Brennan, and found a forum for Pregnancy Loss, and then Trying to Conceive After a Loss.

Maybe it's the anonymity that fosters such candor, brutal honesty and raw emotion. Regardless of what it was, that board became an outlet for me to vent all of my frustration, anger, confusion and hurt at everything that was going on - all while staying safely anonymous. We were sisters of sorts - a part of a very painful, no-one-should-ever-have-to-be-a-member-of club, and we were free to express ourselves the way many of us felt that we couldn't IRL ("in real life", as we referred to it). It was there on that board that I "met" Stacy: a miscarriage survivor, too, pregnant again with a baby boy, and writer of "He Will Carry Me." I will tell you that her faith in God awed me, as I walked with her via the blog through her pregnancy with Issac. I think it's important to say that if you choose to read her blog, please be prepared. It is beautiful, candid, but heart-wrenching - but in its truest form, it is a true testament to God's love and grace, and one woman's unwavering faith.

Stacy's blog led me to Angie's blog - "Bring the Rain". Angie is the wife of Todd Smith of Selah fame (Christian band). Angie has such a gift for making you laugh in the midst of what are powerful lessons in God's love. Her honesty about her own daily struggles with her faith, anxieties and motherhood is refreshing on those days when you feel like you don't quite have it all together, either. She is really one of those that you wish she lived just down the road, so you could meet her and just hang out with a glass of wine.

Both blogs have similar stories, but again, are truly awesome and inspiring. I have been inspired by both women, and their faith. Their blogs are, to me, a daily reminder of my faith, and God's love for me, in spite of it all. If you choose to go over to either (or both) to read, I hope that they resonate and bless you as much as they have blessed me.

So, that's the story of the blog list origin.

Love,

Kristen

Seasons

Fall is a great time of year - it's my favorite season, actually. Something about the air and the leaves changing always makes me happy. Maybe it's the colors that appear - when the sun shines, the sky seems bluer and the clouds whiter...the orange and yellows and browns on the trees make me remember that there truly is a season for everything. Perhaps because of the things I've experienced in my life (starting in high school with the death of my 4 best friends in a car accident), I've always taken great comfort in Ecclesiastes 3: 1. It reminds me that everything is seasonal in life, and essentially, what goes around comes around goes around again.

Perhaps that's why I get particularly nostalgic around the fall season, as well. I always seem to 'look back' more during this time. It's amazing how much our lives have changed in the short time that Christian and I have known one another. In reality, some days it seems as though I've loved only him my entire life, because I've never known a man as wonderful, kind and loving as him. And yet, other days, the reality of our 4 1/2 short years together reminds me that we have loved and experienced a lot together in the truly limited time we've known each other, and I am humbled by the things that I have yet to experience with him by my side.

Yesterday was the start of the 2nd trimester for me. It's such a significant milestone for us, given our history, and my high-risk pregnancy diagnosis (which, honestly, I'm not so convinced I'm all that 'high-risk' but...). So, now, although we are still anxious about the weeks ahead (and probably will be until we hold the newest healty Perry safely in arms), we are cautiously looking forward at what our family has now become, and where it arose from. Truth is, like I said in my post below, life has a way of getting away from you if you let it.

I think the cruel joke of the early years of parenting is that you are going from hour to hour and then day to day, just adjusting and trying to, really, just survive and figure out your new reality with this new addition, and your new reality as a couple. And, when you are just going along 'doing the best you can', these are those exact and fleeting moments where your child actually wants to constantly be around you, looks up to you, and willingly makes you the center of their universe. It's hard sometimes to remember that in the daily routine of meals, work, daycare, laundry, etc. etc. So you try to juggle and balance, and sometimes you don't do as good of a job as you think you're doing. Things start to slip a little bit, and before you know it, you're in a new reality.

I guess I'm starting to realize that it's so important to balance the new life with the old. Meaning, getting back to where things started. I think everyone goes through this type of revelation this early on, but I think it's what you do with the revelation that's important, right? So, here's where we started. March 15, 2004. A little over 2,000 days ago. Funny how time flies, but yet it doesn't.

So, I guess I'll go back to my fall foilage watching. And know that everything comes around and goes back around and comes around again.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to reap that which is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to get and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Going Retro

Today, I tapped into my inner teenager, put aside my pride, and got braces. Yes, you heard me right. BRACES.

Before you fall off of your chair laughing, allow me to explain. Yes, I had braces when I was 15. And actually, for the time, they were considered 'mini-braces' and very non-descript. HA! Maybe my mom can manage to find one picture that survived of me in those 'mini', promised 'hardly-noticable' braces. Mini? Uh. yeah. RIGHT. Anyway, when those braces were removed (after a year of pain and torture - well, that's how I remember it, anyway), I swore I'd had perfect teeth for the rest of my life. Well. You know how this story ends. Promises, promises!

So let's fast forward from 1989 (choke!!) to 2 weeks ago at my regular dental checkup. Dentist: Your bottom teeth are continuing to shift and crowd. This could cause problems later on. You know I can throw on a permanent spring loaded retainer on the back of your teeth and take care of this in 6 months. Or, we can put on clear braces and clear it up in 2.

2? 2 months??? Really?? Me: Let me think on it. And then I proceed to dash off to the front desk to check my insurance coverage and find out my ortho is covered at 100% for what I need done. I immediately talk it over with hubby, who promises not to laugh too hard or call me names that will regress me back to my freshman year of high school, and make the appointment. Total time elapsed: 15 minutes. (I'm introspective like that.)

So here I sit, with the wax box in my pocket (yes, they still have that - you would think they would have progressed a little bit on the wax thing over time) and a Tylenol on my desk, just waiting for the numbness to wear off and the pain to set in. I have braces. I am playing a little Bon Jovi, some C&C Music Factory and yes, even some Richard Marx to complete my transformation back to 1989. Hmmm...this isn't so bad.

Talk to me in 2 months. ; )

Love,

Kristen

Daddy's Girl

This weekend was pretty uneventful. We tried to lay low as much as possible, because we were afraid that the munchkin had an ear infection caused by her teething. (No worries - the doctor gave us the 'all clear' after an emergency visit Saturday morning! We found out her 'wobblyness' and fussy, no-sleep, clingy thing is attributable to her cutting 4 molars right now. Needless to say, her mood is a little, well...let's just say transient, to try and keep it as positive as possible! But, I digress...)

So, the pumpkin patch and picnic at the farm was bagged, unfortunately. It was just too cold, so we stayed in, did a little housework, did a little sleeping, a little playing...well, you get the picture. Until about 4:30, when our daughter went a little stir-crazy. So, we all packed into our neighbor's Odyssey, and headed off for dinner at The Mellow Mushroom. This picture was taken as we headed inside for dinner. Thankfully, Heather had her camera to capture the two daddies with their girls.

My heart melts...Yeah, I think I'll keep him... ; )

Back from a blogging hiatus

So I have been remiss in updating everyone via the blog, and I'm very sorry for not being more diligent about it. Life has such a way of getting away from you when you aren't looking, doesn't it? So much has happened in our lives since our last post that I won't bore you with most of the mundane. But we have had some pretty major events occur in the past few months, so I will update you on those, and promise (I hope!) to keep the blog regularly updated now.

In February, Christian and I headed off to St. Maarten for a few days for his President's Club trip. It was a fantastic time, and we had an incredible time just relaxing and spending some quality time together. Our favorite experience was racing on one of the original America's Cup "Stars and Stripes" - (see if you can pick us out in the picture - hint: my hair is NOT really this orange in real life!) And, if you ever get a chance to go to St. Maarten, make sure you do this, even if you aren't a sailor! It was tons of fun!

I'm sure most of you know already that at the beginning of April, Christian and I were thrilled to find out we were expecting again. From the start, though, I just felt as though something was 'off', and unfortunately, at 7weeks, we found out that my intuition was right - I had had a missed miscarriage: the baby stopped developing at 5w3d, but my body hadn't quite figured it out yet. Christian was wonderful and was there to support me through the D&C, and all of the horrific emotional ups and downs that come along with a miscarriage. (Thank you, baby!) He didn't even flinch, just went to Lowe's and picked up the paint for me when I decided the day after the D&C that the most therapuetic thing for me to do would be to design and paint Brennan's playroom. So, (poor thing!) he got kicked out of what was his office, moved it all downstairs, and let me lock myself in a room to cry and paint (which is the best way I cope with things). Despite the origin, we love the results, and we think Brennan likes them, too.

June arrived, along with our baby's first birthday! It's so hard to believe that she is already a year old! The munchkin continues to grow like a weed! We celebrated her first birthday in a grand birthday party fashion with lots of friends and family - it was a wonderful time! The grandparents traveled in from near and far, and UBA & Goose came too, to help celebrate. Christian put in new trees, stained the deck and built the munchkin a brand new elliptical shaped sandbox in preparation for the party (nothing but the best for his girl, LOL! ; )) I braved my new Kitchenaid mixer (my Mother's Day present), and even made her birthday cakes (after quite a few 'test runs', though...).

We spent some time during the summer hanging out at Prestonwood, which we joined this year (thank you, SAS!) so that the munchkin

would be able to go to a pool, and in later years, so she can join the swim team (like her mommy so many years ago). She loves the water, and just hanging out with her daddy (of course - she is a total Daddy's girl!!)

AND, also in June, my husband made one of dreams come true...FINALLY, after 20 years...I SAW DURAN DURAN IN CONCERT! It was as awesome as I had always dreamed it would be - the boys were fantastic, and my wonderful husband coughed up $50 (gasp! choke!) for a concert T-shirt for me, too. I am a lucky, lucky woman!

In July (July 4th weekend, in fact), Brennan took her first steps and well...just took off! We've been chasing after her since. In August, Christian and I went on our (belated) honeymoon, and drove down to FL to leave Brennan with Sassy & Rocco and we left on a 7 day carribean cruise. It was absolute heaven, and we had a great time just relaxing and spending time together. Unfortunately, our internal clocks never allowed us the luxury of sleeping in too late, but it we did a lot of napping, drinking and (of course - it was a cruise!) eating.

In September, Christian and I took off for FL on a flying trip for the weekend to complete what we had been planning since February with Casey and Lucy (my brother and sister in law): a surprise 40th Anniversary party for my parents. It was wonderful, and they were totally surprised and shocked, and it was so much fun! Thank you to all the family and friends that traveled so far to be there for it - I will post pictures as soon as I have some!

Which brings us to our latest news in the month of October. ::drumroll, please..::

Christian, Brennan and I are thrilled to introduce the newest addition to the Perry clan: Baby Perry 2 AKA "Monkey". The baby is due on April 26th - (right in the middle of Christian's next President's Club trip to Puerto Rico - BOO! :( ) But, we are thrilled to be expecting again! I'm now almost 13 weeks, and we apologize for keeping this a secret for so long, but...well, I'm sure you understand, given our history.

And, since I've included a picture of our newest addition, I can't leave you without a recent picture of our baby girl - these are the proofs from her latest school pictures. We can't believe how big she's gotten, and how she now has such a little personality! She loves Elmo, Baby Einstein (don't worry - she's only allowed a 1/2 hour a day!), playing outside, and her "B!" (Bear). She already has quite the vocabulary, too - flower, food, treat, monkey, lion (well, actually, she calls it a ROAR ROAR), fish...and there are so many new words that she learns everyday. We're really excited for her first 'official' Halloween coming up, and we have plans to hit the pumpkin patch this weekend to pick out her first jack-o-lantern. Again, it's just crazy how time flies...

We hope everyone is doing well, and please drop us a line and let us know how it's going! We'd love to hear from you - or see you, too!

Until next time...

Much love,

Kristen